Unleash Your Potential #28 - Handling Change

Douglas: Welcome to the Unleash Your Potential Blog, what question can I answer for you today?

AspireAdvance: How can I improve my ability to handle change? 

Douglas: Thank you for presenting this question. Change is hard. It also seems to be constant. One of the more famous oxymorons circling the internet is the phrase, “The only thing constant in life is change.” This quote is attributed to the ancient Greek philosopher, Heraclitus. I also found a longer version that adds, “You cannot step twice into the same stream.” And if life experience is any guide, these statements ring pretty true. With every decision we make and action we take we forever alter the course of our lives and by association, the direction of every life around us. In the maelstrom of decisions that are made every moment of every day, the world is in constant flux.

It would be very easy to crawl down the rabbit of a philosophical discussion of change, but that is not what you are asking. Your question acknowledges change happens, but you want to know how to deal with it.

Why is change hard? Oftentimes, change takes us from the known to the unknown. Over the years, when my wife accepted the responsibility for raising our children, while I went out of the home to work, she would often re-arrange the furniture while I was gone. I, on the other hand, tend to be a creature of habit. I walk in the door, drop my keys in the same place, set my stuff in the same place, put my shoes in the same place, you get the idea. When my wife would re-arrange the furniture, I was thrust into the unknown, my routine was thrown off and it was discomforting. Early in our marriage, it created some strife for me as I didn’t know how to handle it. 25 years later, I have come to accept it is a possibility that when I leave my wife at home for any length of time, I might come home to a different configuration, and that is okay.

Improving your ability to handle change, starts with accepting the possibility that change happens. We come to believe that we have life, as it is, managed and we view change as creating an environment where we no longer are in control. Another way to improve our ability to handle change is by developing our self-reliance. Instead of thinking that we can only manage life if nothing changes, we have to adjust our mindset to believe in our ability to adapt to whatever the change might be.

At some level, handling change is confronting fear. A few paragraphs ago, I mentioned that change is going from the known to the unknown, and this can create fear. The known is comfortable, we know what to expect. Change brings us to a place where we don’t know what to expect and that can be very scary. The bigger the change, the scarier it can be. In 2018, I took a sabbatical and left my teaching job of 20 years to pursue my doctorate. I had to leave my family for three years, live on my own, and pursue advanced study. I remember that even the day before I was scheduled to drive to college, I was considering not going. In part that was because I was afraid of the big change I knew was about to happen. Fortunately for me, I had a strong support system of family and friends to help bolster my resolve when I was afraid of the change. In time, I adjusted and even came to enjoy the new setting and flourished as I completed my advanced study.

So, AspireAdvance, here are my ABCs for improving your ability to handle change:

1. Accept that change happens

2. Bolster your self-reliance

3. Create a support system

This list is far from exhaustive, but it gives you a place to start your journey.

I hope my answer sheds some light on your question. If you want to dig into this concept further, I encourage you to reach out and set up a conversation. In the meantime, check back tomorrow for the next question in the Unleash Your Potential Series!

Be Well!

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