Unleash Your Potential #35 - Self-Esteem
- Douglas McCall
- Jul 30, 2024
- 3 min read
Douglas: Welcome to the Unleash Your Potential Blog, what question can I answer for you today?
AmbitionAssistant: What steps can I take to improve my self-esteem?
Douglas: Thank you for asking. Self-esteem is an important topic to consider. Self-esteem refers to our opinion of ourselves. Conservative estimates suggest that worldwide four out of five people suffer low self-esteem. Even the people you see in the news, online, or even walking down the street may appear happy and confident, but despite those masks, they may still have low value in themselves. Someone can be outwardly very successful and still believe that those successes don’t matter because they see themselves as not valuable.
Why is self-esteem important? Left unchecked it can lead to self-doubt. People who suffer from chronic low self-esteem can end up self-isolating to protect their self-esteem. Low self-esteem can lead to becoming hypercritical of our mistakes and a defeatist attitude. When you are plagued by self-doubt it can prevent you from advocating for yourself in your work and personal life. The longer you experience low self-esteem the more likely you are to develop anxiety and other mental illnesses.
With a topic like self-esteem, I need to remind my readers that I am not a trained therapist. If your self-esteem challenges are impacting your mental health, I encourage you to seek out the support of someone with the training to help you work through those issues.
Having said that, not all instances of low self-esteem require the intervention of a licensed professional. I offer here some suggestions for addressing low self-esteem on your own.
Run your own race – The phrase “keeping up with the Joneses” has been in our lexicon for a long time. It is the idea that our value is defined by those around us. And with the pervasiveness of social media which allows us to present the best of everything that happens to us without shining a light on the challenges, it is easy to doom scroll and start to believe that everyone else is living an awesome life while you are not. I suggest you take a break and go on a social media vacation. Look at your life and your successes and realize only your journey matters to you. Every day you have successes and failures and remember that those are the only ones that matter and can help you start improving your self-esteem.
Engage in self-care – We feel better when we are pampered a little bit. When I go to the barber and get my hair cut and a hot towel shave, I feel better about myself. We have to make time to pamper ourselves. Self-care can take many different forms, but you have to find ways to do it for yourself, every day. Meditation, having a spa day, treat yourself to a good book, among many other things are ways of taking care of number one. When you prioritize yourself, you tell yourself you are valuable and this plays directly to self-esteem.
Acknowledge what you have (and don’t have) control over – Some folks develop low self-esteem because focus their value on their ability to solve problems that are, for them unsolvable. It is important to recognize what things in life you can control and let go of those things that you can’t. There is a lot of value in remembering the serenity prayer, “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” If we focus on those things we can control, we are much more likely to encounter success, which can improve self-esteem.
Forgive yourself – We have all made mistakes. No one is immune to failure. It is important to look at your past and forgive your mistakes. After all, you can’t change them anyway. You only have the things you can do today and to focus on the mistakes of your past takes valuable time away from what you can do right now. You can learn from your mistakes, but you shouldn’t be reliving them. When a past moment comes up in your mind, say “I forgive you, and it's time to move on.” Then do it! Put that moment in the past and move forward. If it comes back, say, “ I already forgave myself for that, it's time to move on.”
I hope my answer sheds some light on your question. If you want to dig into this concept further, I encourage you to reach out and set up a conversation. In the meantime, check back tomorrow for the next question in the Unleash Your Potential Series!
Be Well!
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