Unleash Your Potential #36 - Self-confidence
- Douglas McCall
- Jul 31, 2024
- 4 min read
Douglas: Welcome to the Unleash Your Potential Blog, what question can I answer for you today?
ClarityCoach: How can I improve my self-confidence?
Douglas: Great question! Self-confidence is something we could all probably benefit from more of. Self-confidence is a belief in one’s abilities. While having self-confidence is important, it is also important to be careful you don’t cross over into over-confidence. To have healthy self-confidence, you also need an accurate self-image and an understanding of your strengths and weaknesses. However, I am going to proceed from the position that you have done some internal work and have a pretty good idea about your strengths and weaknesses.
Before we dive into some strategies to help with self-confidence, it is important to consider what might be blocking you from feeling self-confident. This list is by no means exhaustive, but it gives you s place to start.
Fear – When you are afraid it can negatively impact your self-confidence. Sometimes we are afraid because we might fail. Fear of failure can be extremely detrimental to self-confidence.
Learned Helplessness – After repeated failures, we can begin to feel that no matter what we do, we will not succeed. This is a very simplistic definition of learned helplessness. Having a fatalistic point of view can lead you to lose self-confidence.
Perfectionism – If you are constantly striving for perfection (which is not possible), then you are setting yourself up to fail. Then when you inevitably fail it can damage your self-confidence, which will make it harder to reach the perfection you are
Toxic Relationships – If you are around people who bring you down through their behavior, it can sap your self-confidence.
Now that you know what to look for, what can you do about it? Here are five things you can do to help improve your self-confidence. Much like the list above, I do not suggest that this list is exhaustive, but again, it gives you a few things to try.
Create a micro-habit – I have talked in previous blogs about the power of celebrating the little wins. I came across the idea of micro-habits when I was reading up for this blog and I liked the idea. A micro-habit is a little win. Instead of focusing on getting your entire financial house in order, you make and keep a commitment to go to your favorite coffee shop one fewer time a week and put the money you would have spent in your savings account.
Say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ – If you are someone who typically demures from new experiences, then you should pick a moment and say ‘YES’ when you would normally say no. On the other hand, if you are a people pleaser, then you are going to say ‘NO’ when you would normally say yes. In either case, the goal is to take little steps to get out of your comfort zone. When you use this tactic, it is important to select something small to start that you will likely be successful with.
Use powerful language – As a friend of mine often says, “Words matter.” When choosing words, use language that conveys resolve. Instead of saying “I could do…” say “I can do…” Eliminate things from your speech that weaken your point. I have been a Toastmaster for many years and the focus on removing ‘umm,’ ‘ahh,’ and other filler words is critical to strengthening your speech which impacts what you believe. Say something enough times and you begin to believe it.
Conquer your inner critic – We all have one. My inner critic’s name is Jacques. I don’t know why. There is nothing wrong with having an inner critic, but most of us give them way more power than they deserve. Remember that your inner critic is just one more opinion to consider and what it says should not be taken as fact. Listen to your inner critic, but they realize that your opinion matters more.
Dress for success – Don’t underestimate this. When you dress confidently, you portray confidence and you start to believe your press (like what I said in ‘Use powerful language’). I know that when I put on a shirt and tie, or a suit, or spend some time on my look, I feel a whole lot more confident.
Self-confidence is a powerful influence on success. When you believe you can do something, you are more likely to be successful at it. You are also more motivated to complete the task. Working to improve your self-confidence can have a positive impact in a variety of areas in your life.
I hope my answer sheds some light on your question. If you want to dig into this concept further, I encourage you to reach out and set up a conversation. In the meantime, check back tomorrow for the next question in the Unleash Your Potential Series!
Be Well!
Comments