Unleash Your Potential #8 - Self-Image

Douglas: Welcome to the Unleash Your Potential Blog, what question can I answer for you today?

LifeLifter: How can I develop a more positive self-image? 

Douglas: This is an excellent question. Self-image is an important part of life satisfaction. Self-image is how you see yourself and how you believe others see you. It is positively correlated to self-esteem which is how a person feels about themselves. People with low self-image will often have low self-esteem. Since Psychology Today estimates around 85% of people worldwide struggle with low self-esteem, it wouldn’t be a stretch to conclude many people also struggle with low self-image.

And why shouldn’t we struggle with low self-image? It's easy in this age of social media for us to constantly develop our self-image by comparing ourselves to everyone we see on social media. I often find myself comparing my life to everyone I see online. This person is more successful than me, this person is more handsome, the person has more ____ than me. Social media, for all its benefits, can be a pretty big factor in driving our self-image down, if we let it.

Add to this the idea that our self-image is also influenced by the people around us. When we are young our parents, family, teachers, friends, and community contribute to how we view ourselves. As we move through adulthood, our friends, coworkers, and others will continue to mold our self-image in addition to the opinions we develop on our own. If you tell someone they are intelligent often enough, they will begin to believe it. Unfortunately, if you tell that same person they are ugly often enough, they will begin to believe that also.

In light of this, how can we develop a more positive self-image? While each of us gets a lot of image information from a variety of sources around us, the most influential piece of self-image is our own belief. The downside is that we are often our own worst critic. Upside, we can also be our greatest cheerleader.

Here are some specific steps to help you R.E.P.A.I.R your self-image:

1. Realize where you are – What is your self-image like right now? Make a list of all the beliefs you have about yourself. How do you think other people see you? In this step, be careful to call out any moments where you might be distorting the image in any way. List the positives first, and be gentle but realistic about the areas for growth.

2. Exalt the positives! – It is important to acknowledge what you are doing well. We all have a habit of flipping to the areas for growth far too quickly.

3. Probe the areas of growth – Are they really weaknesses or just something people tell you that might not be true? Sometimes we adopt labels other people put on us even when don’t deserve them. Just because someone says something about you, does not make it true. Check it against your positives before you adopt it as a weakness.

4. Address areas for growth – Develop goals with achievable action steps to address the areas for growth. Don’t try to fix everything all at once…Rome wasn’t built in a day after all. And when you achieve a goal, STOP AND CELEBRATE!...and make a new goal.

5. Integrate positive affirmations – Affirmations are things we say about ourselves. The more we say them, the more accurate they become. We will make choices that lead us toward what we affirm. Affirmation can be positive or negative and BOTH are powerful. If you say to yourself, “I can’t remember people’s names” you will eventually have trouble remembering people’s names. If you say, “I am funny” eventually you will start to find and share humor.

6. Rinse and Repeat.

Self-image is changeable. How you see yourself today may be very different from how you see yourself tomorrow. And how that image changes is 100% in your control. You can decide TODAY that you want to improve your self-image (and it sounds like you already have). Use these steps to REPAIR your self-image.

I hope my answer sheds some light on your question. If you want to dig into this concept further, I encourage you to reach out and set up a conversation. In the meantime, check back tomorrow for the next question in the Unleash Your Potential Series!

Be Well!

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